Side effects of life.

137.8 pounds. Off Zoloft completely for 8 months.

It’s been a while… yes, 11 months since my last post. Life has taken me for a ride. Sometimes the riding was exciting. Other times, I felt like I was stuck in the cart.

The Zoloft left me feeling numb most of the time. At least my short-term memory was left intact, and I didn’t repeat the same tasks over and over again like I did while on Wellbutrin. I started to channel Lennie from Of Mice and Men when I was on Wellbutrin. The biggest gift from Zoloft was that I felt like I could function as a human once more. I was able to move forward. I wasn’t happy, but at least I wasn’t in total despair. So for that, I am grateful for the Zoloft experience.

From my current weight, you would think that Zoloft didn’t mess with my metabolism. Unfortunately, I went on quite a run of weight gain. I maxed out around 153 pounds, for a total of a 20-pound weight gain. I was depressed about how big I was getting, and how I couldn’t fit into my clothes. I had to buy some new clothes for a camping expedition this summer. Fat and alone, I felt like such a winning combination.

The weight gain and overall numbness contributed to my decision to start weaning myself off of the Zoloft. I spent 2 months gradually reducing dosages. Brain zaps, dizziness, and headaches were all part of a daily experience for me as my mind was adapting to decreasing serotonin. It wasn’t too painful, but it wasn’t fun either. I felt foggy and lightheaded for a good month.

I have spent the past 6 months getting my weight back under control through diet and exercise. It was a tough struggle, but I finally have reached a point of comfort. I still feel like chunky thigh girl, but at least I can hide it with a good skirt.

There have been interesting developments in my personal life… surprises, reappearances, heartbreaks, sad endings, hopefulness, hopelessness. I’m pretty much right back where I was when I started this blog, with a few more wounds to lick. I’ve grown weary of the day, so I will end my post here. A recap of my wounds will begin soon in my next post.

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2 thoughts on “Side effects of life.

  1. I look forward to reading your posts in the future. I just started taking Zoloft about a month and a half ago. So far it’s been really helpful, although I’m muuuch more forget than I used to be. I think it’s worth it as of now for me. It helps to be able to read other people’s experiences because none of my family or best friends have depression or take medicine. So thank you.

    • Thanks, Alissa. Zoloft was overall a benefit for me. If it weren’t for the weight gain, I would probably be on it right now. I hope it continues to be helpful for you and the forgetfulness lessens as your mind adjusts to it. I will follow your blog to see how you are faring.

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