Last week was a challenging one. Being off the whole week caused me to hyperfocus on my hopelessness. Thoughts of The Actor consumed me. I kept replaying all of the moments of our relationship… the first date excitement, the second date jitters, the celebratory call he made after he slept over, the gratitude he would […]
131.4 pounds. I feel like I am shriveling away. **Trigger warning** I am off work this week. A part of me is thankful for the opportunity to take care of some home projects. A part of me hopes this will give me the opportunity to recoup some hours of sleep that I miss out on […]
No more Zoloft, 133.8 pounds Back in September, I started dating “The Actor.” He was classically handsome. Some might say beautiful. He was communicative, expressive, and expressive. On our first date, I knew I was in trouble. I was instantly smitten. I originally met The Actor on OkCupid. Everything in his profile sounded great, with […]
How much heartbreak can the human body endure? Are we made to experienced repeated loss, or does it take it’s toll on our mind, body, and spirit over the years? As I have hit the age of 39, I can’t help but think that I can’t keep putting myself through the pain of failed relationship […]
It was mid-May at this point. The trifecta of unrequited dates had occurred. I caught some cold/cough bug and decided to stay inside to rest. After being cooped up in my home for a few days, I finally ventured outside to get something out of my car. Tucked under my wiper blade was a small […]
Last May, I had reached a state of numbness. It had been 5 months since I had seen SP, and 4 months that I had cut off contact from him. I had gone out on dates with 3 different men. Nothing went past the first date. The first guy decided to take a job in […]
Rejection. It’s a part of life. For me, it’s a constant theme. In the end, I feel undateable. Why have me when there is something else out there that is surely better? How many guys are there who contact women on Match, and then after a couple of exchanges, **Poof!**, they disappear? What’s the point? […]
2 months on Zoloft, 137.2 pounds It’s been a month or so since my last post, and much has happened. I had a birthday. I unfriended and subsequently blocked SP on facebook. I put myself back on match again. I had a date with new guy. I got rejected by new guy. Oh, good times. […]
Repairing Hope 